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Spring 2026
Theme: Co-Regulation
{Contact_FullName}, your MCGT membership expires on {Member_Upcoming_Renewal_Date} |
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President's Letter Mary Wandrei, PhD, LP, MCGT Board President |
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Happy Spring!
I am so glad that we are focusing on co-regulation this season, because co-regulation is a process near and dear to my heart.
Co-regulation is the creation and prioritization of a “we” space, a social circuit between human beings, that is in and of itself a regulation strategy. This transmission from one person to another of “we are going to be ok” is both primitive (based on ancient patterns of survival through connection) and radical (challenging modern assumptions of isolation and control in families). It really works! We are developmentally built to be able to calm each other down through connection, and that goes double for parents and children. For families living with the intensities of giftedness and other exceptionalities, re-learning how to reverse emotional escalation through these guiding strategies can be a life-line to hope. I may sound effusive, but co-regulation has been so important in my own family life and in my practice working with neurodivergent folks, that I talk about it every day. I hope the concept of co-regulation as presented in this issue of Outlook helps you on your journey as much as it has helped in mine.
Warmly,
Mary Wandrei
MCGT President |
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Thank You to Our Guest Co-Editor, Lori Migdal, Ph.D.
Over the past few editions, Lori has joined me in co-creating the Outlook Newsletter. It’s been wonderful to forge such a rewarding collaborative and creating partnership. |
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Thank you for the opportunity to be co-editor for this important topic on co-regulation which has been so beneficial in my personal and professional life. |
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THEME: Calming, Connecting and Comforting Through Co-Regulation |
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Articles are embedded.
Please click on the linked text to read referenced information.
Thank you! ~ Tina Van Erp, MCGT Outlook Editor |
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Co-regulation is a term that has been popping up in news articles and magazines as of late. It is defined as the process of helping a child regulate their emotions through providing a calm presence, validation of emotions, and gentle guidance. When thinking about our gifted children, we consistently recognize emotional intensity and sensitivity as something that many of our kids inherently demonstrate as part of their makeup.
Developmental asynchrony between cognitive ability and emotional and social skills can also impact the ability to self-regulate and create the propensity for more externalizing problems. Twice-exceptional children are often impacted more in this domain.
As parents, we come in with our own vulnerabilities, whether it be tiredness from a long day at work or from managing the household all day. We have our own histories of being parented that can intersect with a partner’s experiences of being parented. The complexity of gifted children combined with our own intricacies can potentially create the perfect storm for communication problems.
This can all influence our ability to be present in the moment.
Perspective taking can help us begin co-regulating. By understanding and then accepting that we may not always be on target in interpreting our children and that taking each situation and seeking clarity will take us farther on the road towards harmony.
One challenge is the narrative in our culture which is focused on individual work and self-care rather than relational care. This takes away from developing perspective taking skills and mental health work in the area of understanding others. Martin Lorentzon, co-founder of Spotify, discusses How to be a Better Perspective Taker.
Jake Ernst, MSW, RSW, on his Substack, Just Trying to Help, discusses co-regulation as the missing link in mental health. He talks about co-regulation as the bigger picture beyond self-help because relational skills need help too. |
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We are already co-regulating in our relationships whether we realize it or not and with further understanding will be able to identify when it is happening.
Observation and regulation of our own behavior can be a way to increase more desirable social relationship skills. Every time another person calmly sits with you, acknowledges your feelings, and is able to bring you back to being grounded is a sign of co-regulation. This can happen between parents and children, friendships, couples, and in the workplace. |
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One way that we often miss the mark in co-regulation is by making assumptions about another’s behavior. We make assumptions about others all of the time.
It is a common cognitive short-cut that can, if not corrected, lead to mistrust in relationships especially if they are repeated over time. These assumptions can allow conversations to continue without a pause for clarification and may feel efficient and practical.
When we rely on short-cuts and assumptions too often,
we might stop checking if we are accurate in our understanding.
This leads to guessing which is problematic when it doesn’t accurately reflect the other’s true meaning. |
Myth
We can interpret, declare or know our child’s current storyline or experience.
More True
We can observe, gather real time information and add it to what we know about our child.
Myth
We know our child better than they know themselves.
More True
We have a broader view of what our child is experiencing. We have language to communicate what may or may not be happening. Our child knows without language or broader information what they are feeling right now.
Myth
Our point of view is more valuable and effective because, after all, we are their parents.
More True
As our child’s parents, we are uniquely qualified to see and understand the patterns of how our child goes through the world. Adding their perspective and observations from their current experience to our love and support in regulating can make a big difference.
Premise: You are already co-regulating.
To build on what you are already doing, Sarah Mundy puts words to ways you’ve been connecting with your child since the beginning of their lives.
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Learning about co-escalation vs. co-regulation can be a way for parents to explore themselves further to gain better understanding of how to navigate their way to a calmer household. Frequent misunderstandings or not understanding the why of a behavior can result in repetitive patterns between parents and children.
Co-escalation happens when both a child and adult are dysregulated. One person’s dysregulation triggers emotional intensity in the other which then creates a feedback loop of escalating tension. It often happens when a caregiver is feeling stress, anger, or is focused on correcting behavior. Reactive behaviors such as raised voices or heightened frustration can intensify the situation. It is common in everyday conflicts, such as missed routines, minor rule-breaking, or chores. The emotional contagion can amplify stress and make rational problem-solving difficult.
Gifted children often experience emotions with greater intensity and co-regulation can serve as an anchor. Co-regulation is an interactive process where the adult helps the child manage emotions through responsive cues such as tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures, or soothing touch that helps the child stabilize their emotions and gradually develop self-regulation skills. Co-regulation helps to prevent impulsivity, create safety, and build emotional intelligence. |
What can I do? - Model Calmness
- Validate Feelings
- Provide Sensory and Physical Support if Needed
- Collaborative Problem-Solving - this happens when the child is calm and it is important to make sure that we are solving the correct problem and not a side issue. This is where accuracy really matters and it’s important not to make assumptions. Dr. Ross Greene has written a lot about collaborative problem solving which is an important element in co-regulation.
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When your child is upset, anxious or angry, your nervous system responds. You jump into action - whether to comfort, fix, or think at supersonic speed to sort out what is going on and what to do next. At this moment, the interaction can take many paths. You want influence and the good news is - you have it hardwired.
To self-select an impactful way forward, take a moment to internally center or calm yourself before your nervous system joins in and escalates to match your child’s nervous system.
This step alone will get you started to the next step of observing, being present and eventually seeing your child regulate with you ever so slightly. By these steps alone, you’ve chosen a new path. |
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Voices From Our Community |
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Historically, teachers have understood that their relationship with their students is highly impactful to their success in creating a safe and accessible learning environment. While there are challenges to creating the dynamic, always happening in real time connection in classrooms, there are countless valuable skills, communication strategies and co-regulation successes that would transfer easily to family relationships.
At the Structural Learning website, they discuss ways in which teachers can work towards co-regulation in the classroom. They compare co-regulation with traditional behavior management techniques which may unintentionally escalate a situation. Co-regulation is a neurobiological process by which a calm, regulated adult is able to help shift the physiological state of a dysregulated student by helping to calm their nervous system.
Signs of dysregulation in the classroom are often confused with misbehavior and can look like defiance, anger, sarcasm, disengagement, isolation, or inability to focus etc. Working with our own nervous systems is part of the process of co-regulation so that we can help bring students out of the “fight or flight” response that is activated during times of stress or perceived threats. Your Therapy Source Blog provides more resources for teachers to use to help themselves and their students. |
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We start with what we experienced growing up,
what we think is true or what used to be true.
Understanding is different from seeking to understand.
Empathy begins with gathering observations or asking open questions for real time, unique to the moment and person information.
Sometimes we get it wrong.
Sometimes we nail it.
Most of the time, we are somewhere in the middle.
The good news is that our child’s development gives us new invitations to renew our understanding of them and of ourselves.
They will continue to learn, grow and change; so we can too.
If we approach co-regulating with the skills of curiosity and approaching with an open mind, many well-established patterns can be refreshed or broken.
How to begin?
Start simple and reliable.
The Empathy Map asks us to observe and consider..
What do they see?
What do they hear?
What are they thinking & feeling?
What are they saying? Doing?
What is their current pain point? Joy point?
And then, meet them where they are with an actual or metaphoric outreached hand.
~Tina Van Erp
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Going Visual! (Tools & Strategies) |
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Kristen Wiens’ visual “Reframe the Behavior” is a favorite because it expresses a common barrier for parent and child connection. Always inspirational, it invites a look and take what stands out to you and your family. |
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Dr. Vula Baliotis, through the IEA Gifted YouTube site, discusses mentalization and other tools to help parents self-regulate in order to be able to co-regulate. She helps to walk parents through what may be going on in their child’s mind and helps them to de-escalate themselves in order to present a calm front. |
Main Topics Discussed We come to understand our inside experience when others understand it Children learn to become emotionally regulated when caretakers attune to them emotionally and reflect back in a non-judgmental way Reflective responding or empathy Containment/Holding feelings until children grow this function themselves Wait to problem solve when child is ready - do not rush this step
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Dr. Matt Zakreski discusses the brains of gifted and twice-exceptional children. He describes the amygdala as twice as large in the gifted brain which leads to bigger feelings. In addition, the prefrontal cortex of a neurodivergent brain develops approximately 5 or more years later. So neurotypical individuals tend to have better decision making skills between the ages of 20-25 and neurodivergent folks are usually fully developed between the ages of 28-35. There is often too much traffic in the brain that creates a bottleneck in terms of decision making. He helps parents and teachers to learn co-regulation skills for their children or students. |
Main Topics Discussed Learn how to better manage emotional outbursts Increase understanding of where big emotions come from Develop the language to communicate about emotional intelligence Name your feelings to tame them to help regulate yourself and model for your children Our brains want to return to homeostasis
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Resources, Activities & Tips |
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See Me Neurodiverse hosts and participates in a variety of events throughout the year. From support meetings to community events to playground, board game, and movie meetups, we’re here to provide awareness, support, and resources for neurodiverse families.
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Highlight: Upcoming MCGT Events |
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Oak Hill Park, St. Louis Park, MN Registration & more details coming soon! Watch our website! |
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Financial assistance is available from the Betty Johnson Scholarship Fund: Families with gifted & talented children should not be restricted in their participation in MCGT activities because of limited funds. Therefore, the MCGT Board will accept requests for financial assistance which would enable families to attend events sponsored by MCGT, such as the annual conference or speaker events. MCGT also accepts requests for financial assistance for MCGT membership fees. MCGT welcomes donations designated to the Betty Johnson Scholarship Fund. |
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Celebrate Your Students!
Nominate Your Academic All‐Stars It is time to nominate your students as Academic-All Stars! All Minnesota K-12 teachers, administrators and academic challenge coordinators are invited to designate students as "Academic All-Stars," to be eligible to attend the 2026 Gathering of Champions. This free annual celebration and recognition of student excellence is sponsored by Synergy & Leadership Exchange and its educational partners. The 2026 Gathering of Champions will be held at the Mall of America on Friday, August 7. Visit www.synergyexchange.org - click on Gathering of Champions under the Celebrate tab or click here to nominate your students! Who Should You Designate as an Academic All-Star? We recommend you consider students from the following three categories: - Students who are consistent top academic performers
- Students who have shown significant improvement in achievement or have overcome barriers to academic achievement
- Students who are local, regional or state champions in a Minnesota Academic League Council approved event. The names of approved programs are found in the Reach for the Stars catalogue.
How Do You Nominate Students? - Nominate your students online today - www.synergyexchange.org - click on Gathering of Champions under the Celebrate tab or click here. The nomination deadline is June 30.
Academic All-Stars attending the event will receive*: - A certificate of achievement and congratulations on stage from dignitaries
- Commemorative items honoring their selection as an "Academic All-Star"
- Discount coupons for rides in Nickelodeon Universe® and purchases at participating Mall of America merchants
- The opportunity to purchase a commemorative Academic All-Star T-shirt
*Details subject to change For More Information: Please contact Synergy & Leadership Exchange at goc@synergyexchange.org or 507-389-5115. |
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60-Minute Food for Thought for Educators
Spend an hour with Joan and Carol, Gifted Roads, LLC, and leave with fun and immediate new strategies to support critical thinking and family engagement for your gifted, 2e, and high-achieving learners! School Districts are welcome to schedule their own sessions!
In this workshop, you'll find: - Quick and easy strategies to help gifted learners stay engaged with learning.
- Built-in sharing opportunities for students.
- Strategies based on best-practice
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This site provides a comprehensive, searchable collection of children's books featuring Black and Indigenous people and People of Color (BIPOC). Anyone with a library card can check out books from their circulating collection of you through Interlibrary Loan. |
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Free Outlook Subscription for Educators
Please pass on this invitation to the educators in your circle of support for your children and your district.
MCGT invites all educators and MN Gifted stakeholders to subscribe FREE to the MCGT Outlook. The Outlook is an MCGT member benefit, but we are currently extending this offer to educators who are not members to provide additional resources and support for the families of gifted students and the gifted educators of MN.
Some content from The Outlook is “members only” material and will only be available if you are a MCGT Member.
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MCGT is grateful to our Platinum Sponsors for their support! |
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Thanks all of our sponsors for their support of gifted & talented families in Minnesota. Please check out all of our sponsors on our website! |
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Check out MCGT's Website! |
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Are you new to gifted? Start with these MCGT website resources:
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MCGT Monthly Discussion Groups |
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Anyone is welcome, Monthly Discussion Groups are via Zoom and are open to members and non-members. We look forward to meeting you! Drop in and join us - no registration required.
Discussion groups are not recorded. |
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Talented Tots
Do you have a bright or talented kid between the ages of 1 and 5? (Check out this description if you’re not sure.) Come discuss all the hilarity, exasperation, and joy of raising bright young kids with other parents who get it! This supportive parent community is a place to ask questions, share stories, meet new friends, and exchange tips and ideas.
Facilitated by Danika Maddocks, PhD, fellow parent of a talented tot. Sponsored by the Minnesota Council for the Gifted and Talented CHOICES chapter.
Time: 12pm – 1 pm CT
First Wednesday of the Month -
June 3, July 1, Aug 5
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Lean On Me You are not alone in this journey of parenting bright children. Find your people in this monthly discussion group where we talk about raising gifted, creative and talented children. The group focuses on listening, generating ideas, resource sharing, and is for anyone who is a caregiver of elementary and teenage gifted, creative and talented kids. The group is facilitated by Dr. Teresa Argo Boatman, a local psychologist who specializes in working with gifted people.
Time: 7:30-8:30pm CT Fourth Tuesday of the Month
(no meeting in December)
May 26, June 23, July 28, Aug 25 |
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CHAT Nights CHAT (Connect. Help. Advocate. Talk.) Nights are dedicated to informally connecting parents of gifted children, helping them find other parents in similar situations with an ear to listen, experiences to share, and solutions to offer. Each CHAT Night starts with a brief (10-15 minutes) presentation by a facilitator on a designated topic of interest followed by small group discussion. The format of CHAT Nights is intended to be casual, rather than structured.
Time: 7:00-8:30pm CT Dates vary throughout the school year,
September - April. |
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Chapter and Community Group Announcements |
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Most events are open to all MCGT members, but some may require chapter membership and/or a fee as noted. We are grateful to the volunteers that keep MCGT's chapters and community groups running. MCGT events, including chapter/community group events, may be virtual or in-person. Check out the MCGT website and Events Calendar for the most up-to-date information. |
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Show & Tell
Thursday, May 28, 2026
6:30 - 8:00 pm CDT via Zoom
Registration Required
Each participant is invited to bring one thing to share-
a story, a creation, something you love, or something you’ve learned.
You are also welcome to simply listen.
This is not a formal presentation space, but rather a setting for thoughtful sharing and attentive listening. |
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Enjoying an Afternoon of Zine-Making
Saturday, June 20, 2026
2:30-4:30pm CDT
Ramsey County Library
Roseville, Minnesota Registration Required
Space is limited: Maximum of 11 attendees
An in-person event focused on experiencing the culture and creativity of zines! For those who are unfamiliar, zines (pronounced “zeens”) are self-published prints, often handmade on paper and produced in limited quantities using non-commercial printing.
The experience will emphasize that anyone can make a zine, and that no special knowledge is needed to start enjoying, creating, and sharing stories with zines.
No prior knowledge or preparation is required! Just bring yourself and your creativity. Optionally, participants are invited to bring a small amount of cash (a few dollars) to make copies of their zine on the library copy machine. |
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CHOICES Groups.io Forum
The CHOICES Chapter would like to extend an invitation to follow our happenings by requesting to join our group forum on groups.io.
Curated Education Homeschooling Online Learning Independent Study Charter and Private School Enrichment and Experiential Learning Shared Time |
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CHOICES Gifted Homeschooling Videos
The CHOICES Chapter has put together a series of video discussions with veteran families that answer common questions about homeschooling and learning choices for gifted kids. Most discussions range from 10-20 minutes, and each panel features four parents with experiences on the topic. If you are looking for information and/or reassurance about the academic options for your child, come check out the videos!
These videos are available to all MCGT members, you do not need to be a CHOICES chapter member to view them.
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MCGT Scholarships Scholarships for MCGT events and for MCGT memberships are available through the Betty Johnson Scholarship Fund.
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MCGT Member Directory and Member Forums
MCGT is building community and empowering families of gifted and talented children from all backgrounds through five core values: Connections, Advocacy, Resources, Equity, and Support. Our Member Directory and Member Forums are intended to help support and encourage connections between gifted families! All MCGT Members are opted into the MCGT Member Directory. Follow these directions to opt-out of the directory and to personalize your privacy settings. The MCGT Member Directory does not show email address, street addresses, or schools. It does include school districts, city, and state. If you wish to connect with another member, you can use the message option. The MCGT Member Forum is a great place to ask questions, share resources and experiences, and learn from other members. Please read our Directory and Forum Guidelines regarding your responsibilities and MCGT's role. |
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NAGC 2026 Annual Conference
November 5-8, 2026
Milwaukee, WI
Registration for NAGC26 is Now Open!
Join us November 5–8, 2026, in Milwaukee, WI, for the premier national event dedicated to advancing gifted and high-potential education.
With 200+ sessions and 60+ poster presentations, NAGC26 brings together leading researchers, educators, and advocates for four days of research-driven learning, meaningful collaboration, and practical application. Every session is designed to give you strategies and tools you can implement immediately whether you’re in the classroom, leading a program, or shaping district initiatives.
Register now to lock in the lowest rates. Early bird pricing is available through July 15, your best opportunity to save on registration.
At NAGC26, you will:
-Explore evidence-based strategies from leading experts in the field
-Gain practical tools to support advanced learners right away
-Stay current on research, policy, and best practices
-Build a professional network that supports your work all year long
This is more than a convention, it’s where your work is understood, strengthened, and elevated.
We look forward to seeing you in Milwaukee!
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MCGT Membership
We value our MCGT members and need active and engaged members to stay healthy as an organization. One way you could help us is sharing information about MCGT with others. As a reminder, the benefits of membership include getting to FIND YOUR PEOPLE and:
- Reduced Fees to MCGT Sponsored Events
- Access to recordings of MCGT events for four months with event registration
- Access to MCGT Member Video Library
- Membership in the State organization and Local Chapter/Community Groups
- Access to MCGT’s Members-Only Facebook Group
- Access to MCGT's Member Directory and Member Forums
- Subscription to Outlook Newsletter and access to over 50 years of past issues
- A United Voice in Advocating for GT Legislative Issues
- Knowledge you are Promoting a Better Understanding of GT Learners in MN
Regular/Family is $40.00 for one year and $75.00 for two years and if you want more than one chapter affiliation, it is an additional $18 (which goes back directly to the chapter identified). |
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Support Gifted Families
MCGT sponsors many events throughout the year and partners with other organizations that serve families of gifted learners. Please consider supporting MCGT with a donation. Your support helps us keep MCGT events and membership affordable to families. Donations also allow us to provide scholarships to MCGT events for families with gifted & talented children. |
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The G Word MCGT is pleased to be a part of the Partnership Network for the G Word. This partnership will provide MCGT access to a broader network and additional resources and will bolster our mission of making connections, providing support, offering resources and growing advocacy for gifted learners and their families. |
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Even if you are receiving this now, many spam blockers may later block this email. To ensure that you will receive this newsletter in the future, you will want to put us on your email allow list. |
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This is your newsletter: MCGT accepts event and meeting announcements, article submissions, book reviews, chapter announcements, etc. MCGT and the Outlook editor reserve the right to edit material for its appropriateness.
MCGT is a non-profit 501(c)3 organization of parents and professionals dedicated to promoting better understanding of, and educational services for, gifted & talented children and their families.
MCGT Office: info@mcgt.net • Find us on Facebook • Twitter • Instagram |
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